Where Have I Been?
Posted in Uncategorized on 06/24/2009 12:15 pm by GlenCommitting the cardinal sin, that’s where: I let it get to me.
And the worst thing? The most inane? It was the robot that did it.
A month or so ago, I finally let just a little bit of Bunk out to play on this website. I was hoping it would make friends with a few of you. Trigger some responses. Up the conversational ante. Lure a few more of you over to play.
Instead, it brought crashing silence, and then a spam-bot, which infested the blog with virus, got it temporarily restricted on google, and ensured ongoing invisibility for the book on which I’ve pretty much staked my career. Or at least the last decade and a half of my life.
Naturally– this being a writer’s website, where even katydids are supposed by some to dream, where silence lays steadily against the pixels and characters of glenblog, and whatever walks here, walks alone– it was the robot, not the commentless post about the novel, that triggered the existential blizzard. The why-bothers (not with writing, can’t help that, but with showing, with selling, with sharing). The poor-mes (because the book deserves to be read, damn it; or, worse, because I’ve somehow convinced myself it does when it doesn’t). The I’ll-just-take-my-blog-and-go-homes.
That didn’t last long. Longer than robot-driven dark nights of soul should have, but just a few days. Then finals happened. Then news about furloughs and the very possible reality of having to reconstruct completely the other, supposedly more stable girders from which I’ve built my family’s life.
And then, of course, the new project. Of which I’m saying nothing at this point. I’ve learned my lesson.
And then the embarrassment. Not about not selling the novel yet, or anything like that. But about my little panic-attack. Because I’m 43 years old, have been at this all my life, and should know better.
Do know better.
And the whole point of this blog was to document this process, partially to keep myself sane (cue laugh track) but at least as much to provide others going through it with some company. No advice. No secret passwords to the promised land, wherever that is and whatever you’re imagining it promises. But stories for the road.
I forgot that, momentarily.
I won’t again.
June 26th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Whew. It was good to come home and find you here again, Glen. I’ve been in Missouri for the past two weeks–on a book tour. Dang, you know, one has a lot of time to think when driving ten hours a day for three consecutive days. After I wrote my memoir–about my great-grandmother, who was alleged to be a serial killer–I tried, over a period of five years, to sell the ms. No deal. A few agents and publishers I spoke with actually told me that since ‘no one knows me,’ no one would want to read the book. Are you kidding me? I had “no hook,” as one nasty agent put it. Are you kidding me???? So I finally went POD with this book. And everywhere I go, the book sells. CA, AZ, MO–In one week, between AZ and MO, I sold 40 copies. Now, that’s not 10,000. But my book isn’t going to be on the bargain table at Barnes & Noble six months from now, either.
There is something wrong with the publishing world. I was told by one publisher (love you anyway, Jeffrey) that if, at the end of my book, it was revealed that I was in a mental institution, he’d publish the book. “Give me a few weeks…” I told him. I read books constantly as I get them free to review. I’ve read three novels in the past year that I would characterize as “excellent literary works”: Finn, Voices from the River, and The Snowman’s Children. And yet… most of my friends have not heard of these.
Will we ever return to the days when a ms. was passed on from first reader to next to editor to publisher simply because it was well written? Sigh….
June 27th, 2009 at 8:28 am
This is positively inspiring, Kay. And familiar. And intriguing. Where can I hunt down a copy of your book?
June 27th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Well–and here’s more frustration from the (I beg your pardon, sincerely, for my language) effed up world of publishing–my book, Tainted Legacy, is available through Amazon for $22 + shipping–which is far too pricey for most folks simply looking for a good read. But it’s one of the punishments of going POD. The flip side of that 45 (and I don’t know which is the A side and which is the B side, really)is this: If I were going to see you soon, say you were speaking at my local Borders, I could sell you a copy for 12 bucks. Why? Because I can get them from the publisher at a huge discount, then sell them for $2 over that amount. I make money, I sell my book, folks get a discount. I’m tellin’ ya, they loved it in Missouri. Well… full disclosure here: My great-grandmother (the serial killer) was born in MO, so some of those buying were actual descendants of victims. (Yeah, whew…) But on my way there, I stopped to speak to a writers group in Arizona–and sold 9 books to a group of 12 ladies. I did a signing at Borders in Montclair, CA and sold 23 books. I drove up to Ridgecrest, CA, and sold 15 books to a group of people who’d never met me. So, it seems, people do want to read this book, despite what I was told by agents and publishers.
Flipping back to the song on the other side, though: Immediately after doing the successful signing at Borders (which, by the way, they had failed to publicize in any way), I was introduced to a PR person from Barnes & Noble, who was very interested (you can imagine) in setting up a signing for me–until he learned that TL is a POD book. Now… we’re negotiating. Sigh. So here I have this book that people are buying, and I know that, if B&N will promote a signing, I will sell books. And they will make money. But it looks like it won’t happen–because of the way in which the bookseller has to order the book.
All that babble is really not about your issue. Your issue is that you are a damn fine writer with what seems to be an intriguing new manuscript, but you can’t find anyone who wants to publish it. Can you sing? If so (and if you look good in leather pants–and I suspect you do), may I suggest making your name as rock star first? Then you won’t have to work so hard at the other gig–anything you write will get published. (Ever read Bob Dylan’s Tarantula? No respect to Mr. Zimmerman.)
June 28th, 2009 at 4:14 am
Sorry. Make that no “disrespect” to Zimmy. I should never get on those rants….